the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
