so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
