absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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