Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
