Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
