she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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