i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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