Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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