How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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