Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
