"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Less talking, more tequila
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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