was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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