just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
4 words: hood of his car
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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