areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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