i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
