Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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