I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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