We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
