i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
