I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
