Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
