I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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