remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
