dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
