no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
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Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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