Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
