theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
