check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
