dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
