I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
