Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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