I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
