He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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