and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
