Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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