my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
