Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
