yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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