She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
