i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize