Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
