It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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