Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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