physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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