Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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