I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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