His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
