I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
