Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
