Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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