so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
