U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
