I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
