Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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