I smell stomach acid.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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