Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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