when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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