I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
