either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
