well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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